Well, the last few days have been really rough, but we seem to be managing.God truly has blessed us!! I know all the prayers are working b/c I can feel God's arms around me and hear His voice saying "I am in control, nothing happens that I don't allow. I am with you--and your precious child also." Not to say that I still am not crying alot--I picked up the ultrasound pictures from the clinic--there's a really cute one of her hand, and I started crying. And when I was at Wal-Mart picking up a scrapbook to start for our little girl, I walked past the baby clothes and yup, you guessed it, started crying. I almost felt foolish walking through Wal-mart with tears in my eyes, but I guess there is a time for everything under the sun--including crying!!
But then there are the times of peace--when I walked Kyylyn (my dog) around the lake and it was a beautiful blue sky and everything was fresh after the rain last night. I could cry out to God and feel His presence, love and hope as I walked. I know there are people that have a peace that their child will be fine--I can't say I have that, but I definitely have a peace that WE will be fine--no matter what happens. (But I will keep praying for a miracle!) I went to the library to pick out books to read to my baby--and one of the first ones laying out was entitled "God Made Me Special". It was a great reminder that He made our baby "special" and she is "fearfully and wonderfully made", no matter her problems, and she is precious to Him, and to us.
I don't know how to thank everyone for their prayers and support--even people we have never met--but THANK YOU!!!! And thanks Ash, for your encouragement--and for her many "blogging" friends, especially the different stories of hope that they have.
Josh has now finished his classes and is officially starting his new job as security guard on Ft. Rucker tomorrow. That will be a huge blessing. It is "part time" for 3 months and then they are usually offered a full time position. I put part time in quotes b/c they are only scheduled for part time, but if anyone doesn't show up, then they are the ones that are called and part timers generally end up getting about 35-40 hours a week. That puts a damper on any plans we make for the next 3 months since Josh will be on-call 24/7; but God knows we need the money (especially since we may very well have many more medical bills coming in the near future) and as I heard my dad say once "when you pray for money, sometimes you get a check in the mail, but more often than not, you're provided with overtime!!" We've gotten the check (several actually--and cash too!) and now we are getting the OT. God is good :o) This job has benefits but still doesn't have health insurance, but they pay an extra $3 an hour for you to get your own. So hopefully I will be able to get some and while they most likely won't cover me right now(or any bills having to do with the pregnancy), at least if God sees fit to heal the baby and she comes and needs medical attention, she will be covered.
So that's it for now--keep us in your prayers as we learn to deal with the "wait and see" part of this. But at least we can "wait on the Lord" and He will give us strength to "mount up on wings as eagles". We praise God for His mercy and His strength--and for praying family and friends. Again, thank you.
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6 comments:
Sarah, I remember when we all found out your mom was pregnant with you. I was so excited for her. We watched and waited for the new Baker baby. When you came, you had the most beautiful heart shaped hairline framing your tiny face. I can close my eyes and still see you. Bonny was just a year old. Life is strong. Life is fragile.
I love you, Sarah. You are very brave. If it helps, I DO know how you feel. No explanations, just that I see that you are bearing up as a woman of courage and spirit does, and God is with you, tenderly.
Crying isn't a weakness. It's worse when we can't cry. Think of it as offering the Lord our great sadness, that fills our chest to the point that we wonder how our heart still beats there. Each time, I think you have a willingness to follow His purpose, especially, because you don't understand. We don't have to comprehend Him to trust Him as a Faithful Creator. Well done, dear one. It's just like you.
Being held can be felt without presence, when the Spirit of the Lord is there. I have felt that touch. I am comforted because you have this, and you need it now, as in no other time.
You are not alone,
love, kitty
You are so lucky that God cares about you. My husband and I lost our first baby on October 31st. I was 15 1/2 weeks. Our baby only measured 7 1/2 weeks. I had been praying and praying for a baby since my first marriage in 1999. I was 18 then and I was divorced but when I remarried at 24 I prayed for a baby. I finally got my prayer answered when I found out on Sept 4th. My dream was shattered 10/31/07. I dont understand how you can feel so thankful, when I feel so backstabbed! I feel like I cant trust God anymore. I am even more convinced that I have to have physical proof of something. I dont know if you or your husband will reply to this but here is my email: ellarie@gmail.com
I dont believe in prayer for myself but if you would like, I can add you to my church's prayer list, anonymously of course and only with your permission.
Sarah, You have more strength than I think I could ever have going through this. I am amazed by you. I think you have always amazed me but this tops them all. I will be praying for you guys. We love you both. Have a great Christmas. Always remember that God is in control. I struggle with that one a lot.
I left a comment on the post below...I am praying for your sweet family.
Hi!!
I found your blog on Ashleighs. I am praying for your sweet unborn baby. I will be coming by your blog again real soon!
Ginger~
Josh- Sarah
I'm praying for you and the baby, everything is in the LORD's hand, he's in control. LORD Bless
Richard Grimes Jr
Faith Baptist Church
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